even though i was gross then i was less gross than i am now lol
I miss being thinner
No. I think it contributed to it, but I honestly think I was predisposed to it and that it would have happened regardless.
He was always in emotional agony. He had an awful childhood and he was always depressed and on and off hard drugs. I guess he stopped taking his meds before he killed himself.
My mom just came in my room and said she wanted to tell me something “sad”. She said that Rob - our lifelong family friend and also the man who came into my room that one night and…did things I wish he hadn’t - killed himself. My mom cried a little bit and said it was kind of sad. I wasn’t surprised though. I knew he would eventually. Right as he left my room that one night, he put his index finger to his head like a gun and pretended to pull the trigger. All he said was “bam” in a hushed tone while looking me straight in the eyes like he could see right through me. I’ll never forget those few heavy moments before he walked away and I would never see him again.
I don’t know what to feel. Part of me wants to cry because…I don’t know. Because I’m confused. But part of me feels nothing. I don’t know. I don’t know I don’t know.
I want to cut because I don’t know how to handle this.
Don’t be jealous of me. I’m hideous, truly. I’m sure you’re lovely.
remember when i had long hair
Pretty much.
I think so. They’re in my diary somewhere.
